I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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