Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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