but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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