I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
