We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
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I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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