Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize