____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
