the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
