oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
