my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You were trust falling into bushes
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
