This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
