He kissed a someone with a penis
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
