Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
