The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
