just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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