1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
