i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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