Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
