we made out on top of his cat.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.