I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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