Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize