I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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