Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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