Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize