Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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