We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
