Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
