everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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