You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
