all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
