Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
