There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting