TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I FOUND THE LEGS
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.