I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
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Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
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Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks