Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me

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  (330): now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me http://tfl.nu/m2x7
  Replies (6) Good night (2974) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.

  (1-229): View more from Georgia

  You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?

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  (229): this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair. (1-229): You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture? http://tfl.nu/5k8s
  Replies (55) Good night (1325) Bad night (4258)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!

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  (870): The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!! http://tfl.nu/bjxs
  Replies (31) Good night (3936) Bad night (1314)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.

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  (912): Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy. http://tfl.nu/2f82
  Replies (42) Good night (845) Bad night (5604)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high

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  (774): dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high http://tfl.nu/yu6x
  Replies (49) Good night (7637) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe

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  (816): Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe http://tfl.nu/ye00
  Replies (35) Good night (1457) Bad night (14161)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.

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  (404): Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while. http://tfl.nu/n1x9
  Replies (24) Good night (5513) Bad night (1557)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.

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  (417): Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home. http://tfl.nu/79mc
  Replies (12) Good night (3087) Bad night (2924)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs

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  (321): I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs http://tfl.nu/bews
  Replies (12) Good night (1390) Bad night (2050)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!

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  (253): When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?! http://tfl.nu/f0hc
  Replies (12) Good night (673) Bad night (1735)
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  (818): View more from California

  He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.

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  (818): He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type. http://tfl.nu/n4gn
  Replies (4) Good night (1744) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless

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  (860): The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless http://tfl.nu/aa5s
  Replies (9) Good night (2606) Bad night (522)
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  (951): View more from California

  Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.

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  (951): Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water. http://tfl.nu/p40v
  Replies (5) Good night (1074) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that

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  (775): The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that http://tfl.nu/7hy2
  Replies (1) Good night (722) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?

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  (903): I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex? http://tfl.nu/k82d
  Replies (5) Good night (775) Bad night (393)

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