Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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