I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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