Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
3 2 1 whiskey
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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