So gin and wine won't be happening again
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
