HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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