i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
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No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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