Rock
Scissors
Fuck
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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