the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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