Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
