I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
