No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
