I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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