im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It was like getting head from an anaconda
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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