Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
