I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
