I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Your dad touched me again.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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