I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize