We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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