I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have grass duct taped all over my body
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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