Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
