he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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